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 © 2020 Stephi Wagner, MSW

  • Stephi Wagner

Dear White People Healing the Mother Wound

Updated: Jan 22, 2019





Dear White People Healing the Mother Wound,


ALL of us white people benefit from unearned privilege in white supremacy.


We white people are ALL racist in this system of white supremacy.


We white people are ALL involved in committing racist harm against BIPOC every single moment of every single day.


We white people are ALL responsible for dismantling white supremacy.


We white people are ALL responsible for addressing the racist conditioning we carry within us that perpetuates racism.


We white people are ALL 100% responsible for white supremacy and ALL the racist harm that occurs within this toxic system of oppression that WE created and continue to uphold.


There are no “good white people,” so please do not attempt to play that card.


Or the “But I have black friends” card.

Or the “But not all white people” card.

Or the “But I am married to a POC” card.

Or the “But my BIPOC friend said its ok” card.

Or the “But my kids are half-black” card.


Throw all those cards away.


Fact: There are two kinds of white people.

Those who are working to dismantle white supremacy and those who are not.


Healing the mother wound as a white person looks like the former.



7 Things to Expect as a White Person Healing the Mother Wound:


  1. Expect to make mistakes while dismantling your racism.

  2. Expect to have your racism brought to your attention.

  3. Expect to hold yourself accountable for your racist harm.

  4. Expect to NOT ask BIPOC to educate you for free about racism.

  5. Expect to NOT center yourself in the face of your racist harm.

  6. Expect to NOT speak over BIPOC.

  7. Expect to be uncomfortable.



Follow and Pay These BIPOC to Educate You


Allies Academy, founded by Sharrianna Rice

Rachel Elizabeth Cargle

DiDi Delgado

Brig Feltus

Catrice M. Jackson

Layla F. Saad


Recommended Reading


The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander


I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou


Kindred by Octavia Butler


So You Want To Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo


Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Beloved by Toni Morrison


The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison


The Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker




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